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It's mine!

Jan. 17th, 2007 | 09:25 pm
location: living room
mood: chipperchipper
music: Nada


Reasons why:
- the ways he kisses
- he practically swallows me up in his hugs
- he smells great
- he'll spontaneously be affectionate with me
- when we go out, he's always got an arm around my shoulder or my waist, or just holding my
- he doesn't mind going to the mall with me knowing how long I take
- he randomly shows up in my English and sometimes Journalism classes
- his big, soft bed with fluffy pillows and crispy sheets
- he always cleans his room and his bathroom so it never feels and looks disgusting like
other guys' bathrooms
- he won't take down the Christmas tree that we picked out and decorated in his room
- he watches Supernatural episodes (new and reruns) with me and even though if I cry, he
teases and laughs at me, he always gives me a kiss after
- he takes good care of me in practically any situation

What sparked this craziness?

Today when I went to his house, I walked into his bathroom and there was an extra toothbrush. It was mine.

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It's a shaky holiday season

Dec. 23rd, 2006 | 12:44 am
location: Home
mood: weirdweird
music: the voices in my head

I FELT MY FIRST EARTHQUAKE!!! And I must say it was pretty cool. 3.7 on the Richter scale at 10:49pm.

I mean there I was, sitting in my squeaky chair watching Ocean's Eleven when I felt the ground beneath me shake for about three seconds. First it was What the hell was that? Did something huge drop? But there was no sound of impact, sooo since I'm in California, there really is only one other option. Then comes my dad, all wide-eyed and semi-freaked out yet in a sort of awe wondering what happened. Funny enough, not 5 minutes later, he goes back to his room and continues working, and everything goes back to normal. Nothing big shook, the TV image didn't fizzle...dare I say it was kinda anti-climactic? And apparently, there was an earthquake on the same faultline on Wednesday! 3.7 too! I sure didn't feel that one...

But we're in for a bigger earthquake soon. As quoted from many news sources, "...geologists believe (the Hayward Fault) is due for a large quake in the potentially lethal 6.7 to 7.0 range." Kudos for us. I'm so excited yet so completely terrified...for my TV. Since Concord, where I live, isn't directly on the Hayward Fault, I hope the quake won't be as strong, I mean, what if it takes out my TV? And my computer? And what about the stuff in my room? It sure is messy enough. Huh...I wonder if my last year in California will be the last year of my young life? Okay that was such bad luck...I think I just jinxed myself.




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It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Dec. 9th, 2006 | 09:32 pm
location: hoooooooOOOOOOme
mood: excitedexcited
music: "You Saved Me" Kenny Chesney

SO TIRED! If I put my head down right now I'd fall asleep. This morning I took my ACTs from 8am to friggin 12:45pm! With only like, a 15 minute break. It was insane. It was pretty easy though...just a lot of questions, and I didn't finish a bit of them since I was tired...and slow. Kablooey.

Then afterwards me and Kyle went to school to meet up with Ms. Spaulding a.k.a. "awesomest chica eva". And picked up Riley, one of the most adorable puppies EVER! Small, light brown, and cute with short little legs. *teehee* And also her daughter's Christmas present (which is why she needs to keep him out of the house cause it's from Santa).

But tschea then we went Christmas tree shopping!!!! Oh my goodness it was so fun! For two weeks I've been seeing Christmas trees tied down on the roof of cars all around and I've wanted one so bad! But cause my place is too small, Kyle offered to put one in his room! And since I spend half of my time at his place anyway....so yeah. HAH!

Anywho. We went to a few places and found the perfect tree after a mere three hours! Then I had to go home, then go out to eat dinner, and went home again, then Kyle came to pick me up so we could set up the tree! And I just came back like, five minutes ago and the tree looks really pretty! Well...minus the lights and decorations? It still looked beautiful. Haha. And since it's real, the pine smell has now merged with Kyle's room. :D

Decorations go up tomorrow morning! Yeyyyyy!!!! THE CHRISTMAS SEASON IS HERE!!!!!!

Totally psyched.

Aren't you?


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Why cry when you can laugh?

Oct. 4th, 2006 | 11:07 pm
location: home
mood: exhaustedexhausted
music: my brain short-circuiting

Kinda random, just needed a mini outlet.

Today, my english teacher gave us an assignment telling us to write about someone who has died and how important they were in our lives. Now my question is, since when did school become so damn morbid? Granted, it's high school, but still. It's never been an assignment. And this is some pretty personal shit.

Anyway, I'm just so frustrated because I try and try to think of someone else, anyone else, but when thinking about death, Dean is the only person who comes to mind who was actually IMPORTANT to me. But I really do NOT want to write about Dean. I mean, come ON! I just don't talk about death! Or anything else close to it. Not when it's personal. I try my damndest not to think about it and avoid talking about it and if that makes me closed off and hard to connect with? So be it. Find some other way.

So to even try to express it in words?


I really don't like thinking about this, but I have and now it's put me in a 'mood'.

Son of a bitch.

P.S. I'm 90% sure I'm going to regret posting this once I'm out of this funk.

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Life has never been better

Sep. 16th, 2006 | 01:38 am
location: home.
mood: sicksick
music: whirring of this crappy computer

okay crap. this just sucks. lost our polo game again. i forsee a lot more long and disgustingly intense practices with a screaming coach. kill me now.

this school year, i think i signed up to do a lot more than i bargained for.

-being an editor of the school paper
-water polo practices and games
-school and school work
-volunteer work
-going online hopefully once a day
-drama club
-extra studying
-SAT prep classs and that homework
-keeping in touch and hanging out with friends

i'm sick too so everything is just peachy....and faint. maybe i'll just give up the last two, lol. oh wait, kyle's recording my CSI episodes this year....okay fine, he shall be acknowledged each time i give him a new tape.

so....screwed or not? how am i supposed to balance everything?! this is insane. i'm already sleep deprived, i'm afraid coffee doesn't do as much good as it used to, and i have no time managing or organizational skills! really. even though i love being the mutant chinese chick, it really sucks sometimes cause of the not being good at math or anything else thing.

haven't even been able to go to the beach lately! SACRILEGE! yeah i don't really know what that means but that's okay.

my face is pale.

damn cold.

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I bow to the Seahawks

Aug. 21st, 2006 | 12:55 am
location: home
mood: bouncybouncy
music: Snap yo fingaz by Lil Jon

This is a random entry, just so you know, so it's pretty much me ranting excitedly for about a few random paragraphs and that's it...just to get it outta me so i can sleep.

first, PRISON BREAK IS COMING BACK! WHOO! YES! TONIGHT AT 8PM! come on jacky, i know you're cheering too. WENTWORTH MILLER! *squeals* plenty o' hotness. too bad he's also plenty o' serious. i mean come on, where is your sense of humor, oh sweet adorable one?

second, the Seattle Seahawks totally kicked the Indeanopolis Colts' big fat butts in the pre-season game! 30-17! WHOO! YEAH! GO MATT HASSELBECK(Seahawks QB)! I LOVE YOU! for some strange reason i am attracted to the Seahawks and Hasselbeck, which is even stranger cause he's not even hot! Crazy, eh? Weeeeeird obsessions. I mean really, at one point i was thinking about gettin a tattoo of the number 8.

and lastly, Teen Choice Awards were on this...well, last night. And i was extremely elated cause JENSEN ACKLES AND JARED PADALECKI WERE THERE! both talked a bit too! wheeee! i literally jumped out of my chair pointing at the screen screaming. really. i don't think i'm all there anymore. Jared looked...still adorable, but his hair....he's really gotta fix it again. This guy really needs a new hair stylist...or go to one. But whatever, still sexy. but Jensen.....ooooooohhhh jenny. made me scream louder and higher than marlon wayans! and i gotta tell ya, marlon wayans was really screaming like a prebuscent little boy added with an abnormally high voice. anyways, i'm trying desperately to contain myself here once again, but man oh man, he looked so. hot. he is like, (if you watch grey's anatomy you'll know what i mean) McSteamy, McDreamy, McSexy, and Mcwhatever all combined into one super sexy god-like creature. I mean really, can you find anyone more beautiful and gorgeous than Jensen? No you can't.

OH YEAH! and i am ESPECIALLY excited for the Supernatural DVD coming out Sept.5!!!! i know i know, i think i need help too. *smiles brilliantly with the shining sparkly 'ding' on my teeth*

i believe i'm done. have fun whatever y'all are doin!


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(no subject)

Jul. 5th, 2006 | 08:02 pm
location: home
mood: lovedloved
music: "Get Low" by Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz

It's like a chain!

How "guy like" are you?

[x] you own a jersey
[ ] you like being sweaty
[x] you hate pink
[x] you love hoodies and jeans
[x] pranks are fun
[x] dogs are better than cats
[x not seriously hurt though] its funny when people get hurt
Total : 6

[x] shopping is torture
[ ] pulling heads off dolls isnt creepy
[x not consciously] you dont cry
[x] sad movies suck
[ ] girl drama is stupid
[ ] painting your nails is weird/stupid
[ ] you own an xbox
[ ] you own a gamecube
[x] at some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter
[ ] you own a psp
Total : 4

[x] you used to be obsessed with power rangers
[x sometimes] you watch sports center
[x FOOTBALL, HOCKEY sometimes, sometimes basketball] sports on tv are awesome
[x with action not horror] gorey movies are the best!
[x] you arent scared of anything (or thats what you tell people)
[x hey, i'm not the only girl] you take part in "male bonding"
[ ] you only go to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball caps
[x] you aren't sensitive
[x] no pain no gain
Total : 8

[x] you like going to football games
[ ] spiders and bugs are cool
[ ] you like to freak out your sister or brother
[x] you used to or do collect basketball cards
[ ] baggy pants are cool
[ ] you get sports illustrated/other sports magazine
[x] fire is cool
[x] you don't babysit
[x sometimes] you're immature
Total: 5

[ ] its kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x] black red or blue are your favorite color(s)
[x most of them really are] romantic comedies are boring
[x after i reached my normal weight...no] you dont care about watching your weight
[x] you hate dressing up
[x i don't care about dressing it up, that's for sure] you dont care about your hair
[x] you love to go crazy and not care what people think
[x] your'e the one who asks a guy/girl out not the other way around
[x] climbing is fun
[x]contact sports like football are fun
Total: 9

32/40 ...maybe I was a man in another life

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Stuck on the side of the road...

Jun. 19th, 2006 | 04:39 pm
location: almost Greenfield
mood: calmcalm
music: Blue Oyster Cult "Fire of Unknown Origin" (just ended)

So the weekend trip in San Gabriel has officially ended and I am officially not going to summer school since I just missed the first day...great. Surprisingly and yet not so surprisingly, I'm not regretful...at all. What I am regretful about however, is being stuck here since Kyle's truck's tire has conveniently popped and flattened (we probably ran over something with the way Kyle was weaving from one lane to the other) and lo and behold! No spare tires...great.

So here we are, waiting for a tow truck a few ways from Greenfield and our first destination before getting home, the Big Sur. Yet another one of Kyle's great ideas. The Big Sur is apparently some place with cliffs and smaller beaches and it is also apparently a great place to watch the sunset. But I guess it would've happened eventually and at least now we can enjoy the oceanic scenery while I listen to Kyle cussing to his brother for encouraging him NOT to bring an extra tire. Of course, it's just brotherly banter...I hope.

Man, that tow truck is taking an awful long time...I mean it's already been like, half an hour...or it will be...soon. Okay all right I just hate it that I'm one of those people I usually laugh at when I'm driving past with broken-down cars or what not at the side of the road.

Whatever. So San Gabriel was actually really fun and the time on the road so far has also been surprisingly pleasant. Kyle and i haven't had any bad arguments so far and everything's just swell...except for the fact that I'm getting really bored with this Iron Butterfly 'In a Gadda Da Vida' song cause it's been playing for like the past 10 mintues and it's still not ended! i mean, i know it's long but this is just ridiculous...now it's just noise and drums.

Anyway what was I saying? Oh right! San Gabriel! Two thumbs up to Gramma and Grampa Haven's cook by the way, like, really, i don't think i've ever eaten any type of chicken that would give me an orgasm! LOL! Man i'm kinda cold now.

Anywho, nothing special or overly amusing happened except for the fact that we got flipped off while driving a few times and of course, Kyle always returned the favor. aaaand....hmmmmm....ooh! I popped off one of my lens from my glasses so i've had to buy and wear contacts leading to me wearing the dorkiest sunglasses EVER! Picture:

Yeah like that but bigger and the lenses are dark purple...hah! DORKIEST SUNGLASSES EVER! and i'm still wearing them, lol. So it totally took me like, 15 minutes to just find the picture and figure out how to insert it when it was in my face all this time! geez...

Thank goodness Blue Oyster Cult is on his iPod now *whew*. Other than getting some seriously watery and bloodshot eyes, everything is just peachy. Tow truck is STILL not here and now Kyle's bugging me about leaving him with nothing to do. He sooo wouldn't be able to live alone....he'd probably die of boredom....or annoying himself. Hah!


...I'm really hungry.

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Off to see the wizard...

Jun. 18th, 2006 | 01:56 am
location: San Gabriel, CA
mood: indescribableindescribable
music: Kyle's kind-of snoring

Okay, so maybe it's not as much the wizard but more like Kyle's relatives...but then again, both are pretty intimidating. If you're wondering, I'm at San Gabriel right now which is about maybe half an hour away from Los Angeles, in Kyle's grandparents' (Gramma and Grampa Havens) big house, on Kyle's laptop, since I am one of the few poor kids in his circle of friends without a laptop. Sad, really. I'm also half-watching, in great amusement, as the Great Kyle Havens himself attempts to change a faulty lightbulb. Well okay, I'll give him credit...three lightbulbs. Nevertheless, it is something I recommend all of you watching at least once in your life.

Anyhow, so San Gabriel. It's actually really nice and pretty here. A rather small town, but surprisingly, there are, I'm 98.9% sure, more Asians here than Whites. I mean, there's a Chinese plaza and everything! The scenery here is amazing too! The streets are nicely paved, and from what I’ve seen, most of the lawns are cut, and there are a lot of nice houses here. Like, seriously.

***5 hours later***

Obviously, some time has passed since I started this entry, but Kyle almost fell of the chair he was standing on, then he got baby-ish, and I ended up having to hold the chair while he changed the lightbulbs, then me and Kyle decided to get some dinner at that Chinese plaza. The name escapes me for the moment, but next time I pass there, I’ll be sure to write it down.

So I guess Chinese girls don’t exactly go out with a lot of white guys in that area cause there was some serious staring going on at that plaza directed at us by yours truly, some other kids, and older Chinese couples, but mostly elderly people whose frowns seemed to deepen each time I spoke English. Maybe I was just swimming in my usual paranoia, but maybe I wasn’t.

So Gramma and Grampa Havens are really nice people, but they ask a lot of questions. Now on the other hand, there are Kyle’s two aunts, Lilith and Marie, one uncle Brian, and his annoying cousins David and Matt, both in the early years of high school = immature assholes. Uncle Brian is pretty funny, but he smokes and drinks more than enough, and he totally looks like the type who goes to the strip club…twice a day. As for Auntie Lilith and Marie? Well they were nice at first, and then they got nosy and kinda weird so I was more than a little grateful when Gramma and Grampa Havens insisted that we stayed at their house instead of Auntie Marie’s. *whew*

So it’s 1:41am and I’m still up. Kyle’s sleeping beside me in my bed right now, but thankfully, he doesn’t snore…loudly. Sorry to say that there is a bit of angst to this entry, so here goes...

What the hell am I doing in San Gabriel in a bed with Kyle Havens, who I thought I was completely done with, visiting his relatives?!?

Okay for those who are confused, here’s the lowdown: I dated Kyle before and we hit it off, but then things happened, and he ended up ignoring me and basically stopped being my friend for almost 5 months before approaching me again, then ignoring me again, and so on and so forth, until I finally confronted him about it and I told him to just forget it if he keeps doing that cause really? It’s not cool at all. But about maybe less than two weeks ago, he approached me again, said a lotta stuff, and asked me to go out with him again.

Granted, I said no the first few times, but then I eventually said yes, and in a very short amount of time, it was like those 6 months of silence hadn’t happened, and we were back to normal. I never could hold a grudge…softhearted…pathetic, really. Then he asks me to accompany him on this trip and what do I do? Don’t think about anything else and just said yes. Stupid stupid stupid!

So here I am, still wondering what the hell is wrong with me. But then again, I have feelings for Kyle that I haven’t had for a really long time and I guess it’s just easier to be able to fill up that gap. But what happens in two months when he goes to college? I’m just gonna be alone again, so why am I letting myself pursue something that is, excuse the cliché, but doomed to fail?

Wow I do have a motherload of questions for…well, I guess myself. But instead of blowing it all out awkwardly for everyone to read on lj, I’m thinking some sleep would do me some good…and some coffee in the morning…and of course, that ever-so-refreshing morning breath from Kyle’s mouth. But I have to admit, even though things are going really crappy right now for my emotional psyche, this trip is making me feel a lot better, and Kyle is really trying this time. So I guess I should just go with the flow and let things happen, huh.

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and the surprises keep comin....

Apr. 4th, 2006 | 10:37 pm
mood: soresore
music: some weird mandarin ppl in a show my mom's watching

AH PRISON BREAK! crazy nasty T-Bag leering and having that evil eye to his ex....though that was pretty mean, that lady betraying him like that....but yeah, he IS a murderer. was it just me, or was it REALLY creepy the way T-Bag smiles? ewwwww....even if it is genuine *shudders* HOT MICHAEL! GO LINCOLN! wow, that's crazy....sara being an ex-druggie, not so surprising. bellick hitting on sara? another shudder. I KNEW ABOUT THE TEETH THING! YEY! THANK YOU THE WHOLE NINE YARDS! lol, that's crazy. i still think VP is still a bitch

24! aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "the vice president has nothing to do with this" *shoot to old wrinkly hands holding a phone or something i don't remember* and in my head all i could think was "OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP IT'S LOGAN IT'S LOGAN IT'S LOGAN IT'S LOGAN!" aaaaaah! still crazy...he tricked us all! why does he have to look so clueless and stupid? lol. aw man, though there were smarter ppl knowing about it before me........how do you do that? you're watching tv but at the same time figuring everything out in your head without seeing the end? crazy. i can't do that. it's a skill i must acquire.

hm, anyways....i hate rain. it's been raining for like, the whole month of march and now april? come on! darn it all. i have to wear boots everyday and it's hurting me since my sneakers get soaked through so easily. hm. boo. holy chocolate starfish!

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